But, as I am of a disposition that makes me unwilling to be esteemed different from what I really am, I thought it necessary to endeavour by all means to render myself worthy of the reputation accorded to me; and it is now exactly eight years since this desire constrained me to remove from all those places where interruption from any of my acquaintances was possible, and betake myself to this country,[^1] in which the long duration of the war has led to the establishment of such discipline, that the armies maintained seem to be of use only in enabling the inhabitants to enjoy more securely the blessings of peace; and where, in the midst of a great crowd actively engaged in business, and more careful of their own affairs than curious about those of others, I have been enabled to live without being deprived of any of the conveniences to be had in the most populous cities, and yet as solitary and as retired as in the midst of the most remote deserts.
Plaintiff was shocked and horrified that Combs and Sherman had recorded and publicized the video of them raping her. After over two decades spent trying to heal and distance herself from the experience, Plaintiff was devastated by the news. She felt as if her life had been turned upside down, again, and like the rape had been happening again and again even as she was trying to forget it. She experienced acute psychological distress, plunging into a deep depression and having suicidal ideations. She felt intense fear, anger, and anxiety.
Plaintiff’s former boyfriend reported that he and the other men watched the recording of Plaintiff’s rape on a handheld camera while at the Bad Boy studio in New York City. Combs, Sherman, and some of the other men made derogatory comments about the former boyfriend’s relationship with Plaintiff, in an attempt to shame him into cutting ties with Plaintiff and to cause her further emotional harm and embarrassment.